Writing Grabber E-Mail Subject Lines and Headlines

When you get an e-mail, how long do you spend looking at the subject line before you decide whether or not to open it? A second? Half a second? Not long, that's for sure.

To succeed in e-mail marketing we must learn to write better subject lines and headlines. If we don't, our carefully crafted messages won't even be opened. It's much the same task as faced by direct mail marketers when they struggle to get you to open the envelope rather than trashing it unopened. Somehow, the subject line has to engage your reader's mind.

Financial Returns from Effective Subjects

The financial impact of effective subject lines is huge. In his Insider Secrets to Marketing Your Business on the Internet (ver 3.0), Corey Rudl compares the sales from good and great headlines.

• "Buy gold with two thirds bank financing!" ($10,000+ per month)
• "If gold is selling at $330, send me $110, and I will buy all you want!" ($50,000+ per month)

• "Tips on car buying, leasing, and repair rip-offs" (good results)
• "Learn how to buy or lease a new car at $50.00 over dealer cost!" (317% sales increase)

Writing good subject lines and headlines is certainly a discipline worth mastering.

Three Functions of the Subject Line

According to Robert W. Bly in The Copywriter's Handbook (Owl Books, 1985), the headline has four main functions: (1) get attention, (2) select the audience, (3) delivering a complete message (for branding purposes), and (4) draw the reader into the body copy. (I don't think #3 applies to e-mail subject lines.)

Just for the fun of it, let's look at some subject lines from recent e-mail messages I received, and critique them using these three functions. I'll be referring to them by number below. Which do you think are most effective?

1. NEW Work At Home Make Up to $1139.54 Weekly Fast
2. Search Engine Bids Are Now Half Price!
3. .Biz Domain Names For Only $9.99/year!
4. ADV: Free Mortgage Rate Quote
5. Save 30% on "Fashion a la Mode: The Pop-Up History of Costumes and Dresses"
6. Asset Protection
7. find your soulmate
8. Urination Problems Decreased with Willow Tea.
9. ADV: Earn Extra Money at Home!!
10. PLRP Provides Solution to Cyber-Terrorist Threat
11. Dble Your Life Ins. No Xtra Cost
12. STOP Stress from your bills NOW
13. Save up to 75% on Term Life Insurance!
14. Your password
15. Travel confirmation

Not let's look at the functions one-by-one.

1. Get Attention

Your first task is to get attention, draw the recipient's eye towards your subject line and away from other competing subjects. You can appeal to the reader's self-interest (such as 8 above), or use words such as "new," "discover," "introducing," "announcing," "now," "it's here," "at last," and "just arrived" (1, 2, 3, 12). The word "free" attracts attention, even from the comfortably wealthy (as in 4). Other action words include "how to," "why," "sale," "quick," "easy," "bargain," "last chance," "guarantee," "results," "proven," and "save." Look at how many times the word or concept of "save" is used above. (I see it in 2, 5, 11, 13.)

Promise of useful information can grab attention. But attention-getting headlines that deceive (such as 14 and 15) may attract attention initially, however, they produce a negative longer-term reaction. The poorest attention-getter above is #6: "Asset Protection." They haven't convinced me to take any action at all. A problem/solution subject format can work well, too, such as 8 or 10. I don't recommend using the abbreviation "ADV" (for "Advertisement") before your subjects. It immediately signals your mind to skip the rest.

2. Select the audience

A good e-mail subject line helps qualify the readers by selecting for those with an interest in the topic. "Urination Problems Decreased with Willow Tea" doesn't interest me, unless.... Who will this subject line attract? "Search Engine Bids Are Now Half Price!" Marketers who are trying to save money on advertising, that's who.

3. Draw the reader into the body copy

The final goal of the subject line is to get the reader to open and read the e-mail message. Somehow, the kind of attention you attract has to pique your readers' interest to find out more.

Mark Joyner, author of 1001 Killer Internet Marketing Tactics, has learned how to exploit what he calls "the Zeigarnik (zi-GAR-nik) Effect," that is, to arouse intense curiosity by leaving out an essential element in a headline. Your reader is compelled to resolve the cognitive dissonance created by the omission, and so goes on to read the message body.

A good subject line creates a kind of promise that if you open this e-mail, you will learn how to solve the problem, get the savings, or find the benefits mentioned in the subject. Of course, it's important not to over-promise, but we must not err on the side of boredom or we'll never get a hearing. Does the subject line "Asset protection" make you want to read more? Not me! But when I read "PLRP Provides Solution to Cyber-Terrorist Threat," I want to open the message and find out how to protect myself from terrorists. :-)

Writing Effective 2-Line Ads

The inexpensive 2-line ads (www.wilsonweb.com/ads/2-line-ad.htm) I offer small businesses in my newsletters require a different challenge. In a sense, the first few capitalized words serve as a headline. In another sense, the two-lines together serve as a headline with the sole purpose of getting readers to click on the URL. When I'm able, I try to help my advertisers make their ads as effective as possible within the two-line, 65-characters-per-line limitations of this format. Here's an example of improving this type of ad.

Before:

Let CMS manage your complete email campaign from Creative to
instant Reporting of your results. WWW.CUSTOMMESSAGING.COM

After:

WE MANAGE YOUR E-MAIL CAMPAIGN from designing the message to
instantly reporting your results. http://www.CustomMessaging.com

I moved the main benefit to the first five words and capitalized them for emphasis. These words are the mini-headline that gets the reader to look at the rest. I also omitted the company name, CMS, though the company name is now easier to read in the URL. Advertisers must decide their purpose between (1) brand name reinforcement and (2) prompting direct sales. In most 2-line ads, direct marketing wins out.

Here's another pair of before and after ads.

Before:

Use the most improved solution to increase visitors on your website
You will get 15% off http://WantedTraffic.com/wilsonweb.html

After:

Increase visitors to your website with the most powerful solution.
Get 15% off. http://WantedTraffic.com/wilsonweb.html

Again, I moved the most important benefit into the first five words and capitalized them. Ultimately, readers want to know "What's in it for me?" If you can answer that, you're likely to get a response from your target audience.

Test, Test, Test

In the final analysis, you only learn what is most effective by testing. All the rules-of-thumb just point you in the right direction. You may not even like the ad that is most effective, but tracking which ads produce the most sales will show you what to repeat and refine, and what to discard.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write e-mail subject lines that will get your messages read. And that skill, once you've developed it, you can take to the bank.

Direct Marketing Resources mentioned:

Corey Rudl, Insider Secrets to Marketing Your Business on the Internet (ver 3.0; The Internet Marketing Center, 2001)
http://www.marketingtips.com/t.cgi/15267/

Robert W. Bly, The Copywriter's Handbook (Owl Books, 1985)
http://amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805011943/ref=nosim/wilsoninternetse

Mark Joyner, 1001 Killer Internet Marketing Tactics (Aesop Marketing, 2000)
http://www.roibot.com/r_kt.cgi?R26822_kimtarthtml2